How to function with depression when you have responsibilities

## Survival Mode: Functioning with Depression When depression hits but life won't pause, here's how to keep the essential plates spinning while you heal. ### The Minimum Viable Day **Redefine Success:** - Fed yourself = win - Showed up = win - Kids alive = win - Didn't quit = win - Made it through = win **The Bare Essentials:** 1. Medication taken 2. Kids/pets fed and safe 3. Work: just showing up 4. Basic hygiene (even just face/teeth) 5. Some food consumed Everything else is bonus. ### Work Survival Strategies **Communication Without Oversharing:** - "I'm dealing with a health issue" - "I need to work from home this week" - "I'm not at 100% but managing" - "I may be slower responding than usual" **Energy Conservation:** - Do hardest tasks in best window (often morning) - Batch similar tasks - Decline non-essential meetings - Work from home if possible - Take breaks without guilt **Minimum Performance Mode:** - Focus on deliverables only - Let perfectionism go - Use templates/previous work - Delegate everything possible - Communicate delays early ### Parenting Through Depression **Kids' Basic Needs:** - Fed (cereal for dinner is fine) - Safe (screens while you rest is okay) - Loved (words when actions are hard) - Routine (even loose structure helps) **Age-Appropriate Honesty:** - "Mommy's brain is sick like when you have flu" - "It's not your fault I'm tired" - "I love you even when I'm quiet" - "This will get better" **Survival Parenting:** - Paper plates to avoid dishes - Same meal repeatedly is fine - Screen time won't kill them - Ask for help from other parents - Lower all standards temporarily ### Household Management **Automate Everything Possible:** - Autopay all bills - Grocery delivery - Subscribe for essentials - Meal delivery if affordable - Robot vacuum if possible **The Depression Cleaning Method:** - One thing per room - 5-minute timer method - Just move things to correct room - Dishes: rinse and stack - Laundry: clean basket/dirty basket system **Meal Survival:** - Protein bars and fruit - Pre-made sandwiches - Frozen dinners (no shame) - Paper plates/plastic utensils - Same safe meal repeatedly ### Energy Management **Identify Your Window:** - Track when you have ANY energy - Usually 2-4 hour window - Use for most critical tasks - Rest without guilt after **Spoon Theory Application:** - Limited energy spoons daily - Choose carefully - Borrow from tomorrow sparingly - Some days: no spoons, that's okay ### Communication Strategies **With Partner:** - "I need you to lead right now" - "Please don't take withdrawal personally" - "These specific tasks would help" - "I'm trying but this is my maximum" **With Friends:** - "I'm struggling and may be distant" - "Please keep inviting even if I say no" - "Texts are easier than calls" - "Your patience means everything" **With Extended Family:** - Set one spokesperson - Prepared responses for questions - Boundaries about advice - Limit exposure if needed ### Financial Survival **Damage Control:** - Autopay minimums on everything - Contact creditors if needed (hardship programs) - Freeze unnecessary subscriptions - Ask for payment plans - Document everything for later ### The Shower Problem **When You Can't Shower:** - Baby wipes for essentials - Dry shampoo - Change underwear at minimum - Splash water on face - Deodorant liberally applied **Making It Easier:** - Shower chair - Don't wash hair every time - 2-minute rinse counts - Nighttime if morning is harder - Reward yourself after ### Using Support Systems **How to Ask for Help:** - Be specific: "Can you pick up milk?" - Not vague: "I need help" - Time-bound: "Can you call me Tuesday?" - Reciprocal: "I'll return favor when better" **What to Delegate:** - School pickup/dropoff - Grocery shopping - Phone calls - Appointment scheduling - Meal prep ### Protecting Your Job **FMLA/Sick Leave:** - Depression qualifies - Get documentation - Intermittent leave possible - Job protection important **Accommodations:** - Flexible schedule - Work from home - Reduced hours temporarily - Modified duties - Extra breaks ### The Recovery Gradient **Week 1-2:** Pure survival **Week 3-4:** Tiny improvements **Month 2:** Some consistency **Month 3:** Building back **Month 6:** New sustainable normal ### Remember - This is temporary, even if it feels permanent - Functioning looks different for everyone - Survival mode is not your failure - You're ill, not inadequate - Getting through is enough *You're not failing your responsibilities - you're managing an illness while maintaining responsibilities. That's heroic, not inadequate.*