ADHD is not just being hyper - understanding the inattentive type

## Inattentive ADHD: The Quiet Struggle Inattentive ADHD (formerly ADD) is like having a browser with 47 tabs open, three playing different music, and you can't find which ones. ### What Inattentive ADHD Actually Looks Like **The Daily Reality:** - Starting 10 tasks, finishing none - Reading the same paragraph 5 times - Losing items in plain sight - Time blindness (5 minutes = 2 hours) - Zoning out mid-conversation - Forgetting what you're saying mid-sentence **Not Hyperactive, But:** - Mind racing constantly - Internal restlessness - Mental hyperactivity - Anxiety from falling behind - Exhaustion from masking ### Why It Gets Missed **The Stereotype Problem:** - No bouncing off walls - Often good at sitting still - Appears shy or spacey - Labeled "lazy" or "unmotivated" - "Just needs to try harder" **The Gender Factor:** - Girls/women more likely inattentive type - Socialized to mask symptoms - Internalize struggles as personal failures - Diagnosed later (average age 30s-40s for women) - Misdiagnosed as anxiety/depression first ### The Hidden Symptoms **Executive Function Chaos:** - Can't start tasks (paralysis) - Can't prioritize (everything urgent) - Can't estimate time - Can't organize thoughts - Can't maintain systems **Working Memory Issues:** - Walk into room, forget why - Lose thought mid-sentence - Forget names immediately - Can't follow multi-step instructions - Notes everywhere but forgotten **Emotional Dysregulation:** - Rejection sensitive dysphoria - Emotions 0 to 100 instantly - Criticism feels catastrophic - Mood swings throughout day - Overwhelm easily ### The Masking Exhaustion **How People Compensate:** - Extensive lists and reminders - Arriving everywhere super early - Over-preparing for everything - People-pleasing to avoid criticism - Caffeine self-medication **The Hidden Cost:** - Chronic stress - Imposter syndrome - Anxiety disorders - Depression from shame - Burnout cycles ### School vs. Adult Presentation **As a Child:** - Daydreaming in class - "Smart but doesn't apply herself" - Homework forgotten/lost - Messy backpack/room - Reading but not absorbing **As an Adult:** - Career underachievement - Relationship difficulties - Parenting challenges - Financial problems - Chronic lateness ### The Paradoxes **Hyperfocus Confusion:** - Can focus for 8 hours on interesting things - Can't focus 5 minutes on boring tasks - "You can focus when you want to" - Actually: Interest-based nervous system **Intelligence Masking:** - High IQ compensates until it doesn't - Crash in college/career/parenthood - "You're too smart to have ADHD" - Intelligence ≠ executive function ### Common Misdiagnoses Often diagnosed as: - Depression (from chronic underachievement) - Anxiety (from constant catching up) - Bipolar (from emotional dysregulation) - Personality disorders - "Just sensitive" ### The Diagnostic Challenge **Why It's Missed:** - Symptoms less disruptive externally - Good at hiding struggles - Shame prevents seeking help - Providers miss it in adults - Gender bias in diagnostic criteria **Getting Diagnosed:** - Find ADHD specialist - Bring childhood evidence - Document daily struggles - Include family observations - Be honest about masking ### What Helps **Medication:** - Stimulants help 70-80% - Improves focus and executive function - Non-stimulants also available - Often life-changing **Strategies:** - External structure crucial - Body doubling - Visual reminders - Time timers - Single-tasking - Interest-based planning **Accommodations:** - Written instructions - Extended time - Quiet workspace - Flexible deadlines - Break large tasks down ### The Strengths Hidden Within **ADHD Superpowers:** - Creative problem-solving - Thinking outside boxes - Hyperfocus when interested - Pattern recognition - Crisis management skills - Empathy and intuition ### Life After Diagnosis **Common Reactions:** - Relief (not lazy/broken) - Grief (for struggled years) - Anger (at being missed) - Hope (tools exist) - Identity shift **What Changes:** - Self-compassion increases - Strategies that actually work - Medication if chosen - Understanding relationships - Reframing past "failures" *Inattentive ADHD isn't about attention deficit - it's about attention dysregulation. You have plenty of attention; it just has its own agenda.*