grief & loss: red flags to watch for

Here's the thing nobody talks about: depression is like a car alarm going off at 3am, and sometimes you need help RIGHT NOW. Here's your emergency toolkit: ## Immediate Relief (0-5 minutes) - **Box breathing**: 4 counts in, hold 4, out 4, hold 4 - **Cold water**: Splash it on your wrists and face (activates your vagus nerve) - **5-4-3-2-1 grounding**: Name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste - **Progressive muscle relaxation**: Tense and release each muscle group for 5 seconds ## Short-term Strategies (5-30 minutes) - **Movement**: Even just shaking your hands or walking to the mailbox - **Bilateral stimulation**: Cross-body movements like marching in place - **Comfort sensory input**: Soft blanket, calming music, familiar scents - **Brain dump**: Write everything in your head on paper (don't edit, just dump) ## Longer-term Supports (daily practices) - **Morning anchor**: One consistent thing you do every morning - **Boundaries**: Learning to say no without explaining yourself to death - **Sleep hygiene**: Same bedtime, cool room, no screens 1 hour before - **Nervous system regulation**: Regular activities that feel calming ## The Non-Negotiables - Eat something (even if it's crackers) - Drink water - Get outside if possible (even for 2 minutes) - Connect with one safe person ## When to Get Professional Help If depression is interfering with work, relationships, or basic self-care for more than two weeks, that's not weakness - that's data. Professional support isn't failure; it's smart resource management. Remember: Your brain isn't the enemy. You're not trying to eliminate depression - you're learning to surf the waves instead of being wiped out by them.